The Door is Closed
by NotAContrivance
Summary: Johnny and Ava reflect.


Okay, that one episode... Ugh... thinks I have no idea which episode inspired this one... I was bored, and Johnny just looks so sad all the time, so I figured... Hey, why not? I think it was the one with all the What's-Her-Names in it... Uh, this is a one parter, and it's not so good. The other's aren't either. Anyways, don't own Summerland or Catch-22.

He fills his empty bed with stupid women. Bimbos who he knows will never measure up. He does this because it's all he can do.

He can attempt to move on and she can pretend that she doesn't know. But his attempt failed from the beginning. He shouldn't do things like that while he's in love with another woman. It takes him time to learn this.

Eventually, his regret grew so large, that every kiss and caress from another made him feel awful. It made him sick at each touch. And he realized that he couldn't do it.

But he couldn't be with her either.

The door was half-closed, but now, it had probably shut completely. He resigned himself to living without a hope of a happy future. Maybe he'd find a nice girl and settle down, so that way he could have children of his own. It may sound clichéd, but he wanted something to make him feel whole again. Something to take his mind off her.

They'd never see that movie. Still so much between them remained unsaid. He remembered the scene at the beach. He had been so obvious, yet she couldn't see.

She couldn't see that his what's-her-names were only temporary, that they changed with the tide. They only existed to try and tide him over while he pined away for her. He didn't understand. He'd been so clear, not once, but twice. He'd left himself vulnerable, and she didn't care or even notice as she broke his heart into a million pieces.

He did all he could, he tried his best, and now, all he could do was give up, give her to that dork. If she was happy, it didn't matter how he felt. He even talked to Derrick about it, accepting it. Derrick said that she didn't want the other guy, she wanted him, but he didn't buy it. Being shot down so much had left an effect on him.

He didn't want to do it, but he had to. Nowadays, he had to do a lot of things he didn't want to. It couldn't be helped.

She didn't love him and this was only proved to him day after day after day. Sometimes he thought of leaving, but where was the point? He would be in pain either way. The only difference was the way of pain. He could either be around her constantly, knowing that she would never be his, or be without her constantly, missing her more and more. Either way he was screwed. His life was a Catch-22, and he was trapped between a rock and a hard place.

She filled her empty days with a dorky man. A man who wasn't him, her first love. But she too, had to move on. He was cute, sweet, and smart. Who wouldn't want to date him?

Her, initially. She couldn't talk to Susannah anymore, and Nikki had egged her on.

She had rued herself in the beginning for doing it. Just like she rued herself for rejecting him in the beginning.

But she could be happy now. She could be happy now with a stable man, so unlike him.

He could have his bimbos, and she would have the middle school principal. In the end, she would have something to come home to. Something that could be serious. He, on the other hand, didn't have so much luck.

She didn't love him. The door was closed. She'd given up when she saw him and those two blondes playing volleyball. It was worse than watching him with Courtney. She'd wanted to tell him, but she couldn't, not with them around.

He'd wanted to too, but he'd paid so much attention to those bimbos that she knew it wouldn't work. They'd tried before and it hadn't worked then. Twice, actually.

And if it didn't work now, everyone's lives would be even more messed up. It wasn't a stable time for any of them anymore. Not for her, not for Susannah, not for him, not for Jay, not for Bradin, not for Nikki, and not for Derrick.

She couldn't do it, and neither could he.

Neither knew what the other felt, and she didn't care.

He did, but what could he do about it?

His heart had broken all over again when he saw her drive off in that red Lotus with that weirdo, and there was nothing he could do about that either. Crying would do no one any good. So he wept silently inside his head, wishing he could do it out loud, but he had no such luck.

He was cursed with bad luck and bad timing, as he always had been and always would be. She was cursed with a denseness that rivaled his obviousness.

But on that one day, it became apparent to them both that the door was not open, not halfway open, but closed, closed, closed. And the hope, too, it seemed, was doomed with it.

- Loren ;

By the way, if you're wondering, Courtney was the name of the first bimbo.


End file.
